WELCOME TO SOBER/DRUG-FREE LIVING

There is a saying around Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous meeting rooms: Your worst day sober is better than your best day high/drunk/loaded. As long as you are keeping the plug in the jug one day at a time. your sober living will absolutely get better or we will refund your misery.

When you first entered the church basements of A.A./N.A. you only knew that you had hit rock bottom. You felt unsure of yourself, and perhaps you weren't even sure who you really were anymore. You had become a drinking/using machine that only lived to satisfy its cravings for the moment, and then set out to do it all over again. Sober living seemed an impossible dream.

Now you have joined with others in the bittersweet, painful process of peeling the onion layers that presently make up who you are. Welcome to sober living. First you have to peel off the user who pretended not to care about what was happening to his/her life. Then comes an onion layer that pretended not to care what you were doing to loved ones with your drinking/using. Now you are getting in touch with your feelings. As much as it hurts, it's a good thing--a healthy thing. You are coming to know your true self. It's all part of sober living. You are becoming a person who can hold up his/her head and be proud of the person they have become one day at a time by working the twelve steps and going to A.A./N.A. meetings.

If you already have a conscious contact with a power greater than yourself, you are way out ahead in the gift of sober living. If you don't, hang on loosely and don't despair. Another saying around the tables is that when our higher power is gone ask yourself who moved. Wasn't it really you that moved, and your higher power has been standing with arms outstretched waiting for you to return all the time? In sober living we get better physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually too.

You are meeting people who did not go as far down the rabbit hole of addiction as you did. You are also meeting people who went much further down, and you marvel that they are even alive. Don't compare. There are always those who are better or worse off. The important thing is that we all make it home to our freed selves together in sober living. Even if you have a hard day at staying sober and clean, you can break that one day into five or ten minute increments and you can hold on.

And then one day we are sitting at an A.A./N.A. meeting and a person newer to the program than us takes a seat. You can tell how nervous they are. You reach out your hand and introduce yourself and start talking about what it was like for you when you were new. You can see the relief on the visitor's face as they listen intently. They can't believe someone understands so well. Maybe you even offer to go out for coffee after the meeting with this new person.

You are doing 12th step work. There are many rewards built into 12th step work in sober living and most of them come instantly. You feel good about yourself. You feel like you are a worthwhile individual. You feel like you have an opportunity to give back some of what so many people generously gave to you when you were brand new. They told you to expect that reward in sober living. You give the new person your phone number. Maybe they ask you to be their temporary sponsor. You feel like your flying you are so high on life. It's called sober living and you earned it.

Even better days are coming. Your close relationships, even with your spouse or significant other, are improving. The bills are starting to get paid. You feel better physically and know your body likes sober living and is healing. Your head is beginning to clear. You can even read again. Your kids seem to like you for the first time in a long time. Isn't sober living grand?

It's not all going to be smooth sailing. There still will be some rough seas. But you are on your way and you are only getting better from now on. Take heart.