TEMPTATION AND CHEATING: KEEPING YOUR RELATIONSHIP STRONG

Temptation and cheating: Keep your relationship strong

603 words


What do you think are some of the top reasons spouses cheat? If you haven't had this discussion with your spouse, it would make for a good one. You would learn more about what makes the other tick, and it would open communication channels to some issues that may be hard to bring up.

Why People Cheat

Here is one marriage counselor's opinion on what the top three reasons are for cheating:

1. The couple get stuck in a pattern. There is no mystery or excitement anymore to keep each other interested. The relationship needs to always be a never ending journey of discoveries. If one or both of you get lazy about providing stimulus to the other, it will fizzle out and somebody will end up looking for a new playmate. A couple needs to keep dating each other. They need to try doing new things together that will have them both learning new things about one another.

2. A couple can get too comfortable and confident that everything in their relationship is just fine and then they stop communicating like they used to. They assume that their partner knows everything there is to know about them by now, and they shouldn't have to tell them anything. Without communication, again, one or both start to feel lonely and emotionally disconnected. One or both begin to crave the feeling of having a close connection again. This is the point at which a person is vulnerable to the temptation of finding someone outside of the relationship who will give them attention and comfort they feel they are lacking.

3. Couples should be friends as well as lovers, but there is such a thing as being too good of buddies or pals. You need strong friendship and strong romance. As the relationship matures, people tend to focus more on the friendship and neglect the romantic side of their relationship. This causes the relationship to lose its spark and passion. Now on or both parties can easily feel tempted to cheat because they crave romantic and sexual closeness.

It is important to keep communication honest and open, add variety to keep things exciting, and keep a healthy balance of close friendship and hot romance.

Safeguards Against Cheating

The number one way to avoid having an affair is to stay close, open and intimate with your partner. Keep the lines of love, intimacy and adventure open with your partner. Don't keep secrets. Talk with each other about your experiences. Through this kind of openness your relationship will flourish and you will be protected against indiscretion.

Work to keep innocent friendships or work relationships in check. Don't let them cross any boundaries. Emotional unfaithfulness begins with a strong emotional bond with someone outside of the marriage. It may be platonic at first, but it's as dangerous as adultery. You are being emotionally unfaithful when you seek comfort from another, while keeping secrets from your partner.

Bring some sizzle to your sex life. Keep it from being boring and predictable. If one of you is always the first to initiate sex, let the other go through the role of the seducer for a while. Play imaginative games and have fun in bed. Experiment and try new things. Find out what fantasies your partner keeps in the dirty part of his mind and make a few come true. Your partner will want to do the same for you.

Remember your vows and be steadfast. You did not pledge your love lightly. If you work at your marriage it can be smooth sailing and bring you many happy, joyful years.