SPIRITUALITY SHARED

My spiritual journey started with a flyer I came across at our local bookstore. It was advertising for a peaceful getaway in the country with a promise that the spiritual facilitators of the retreat would see to it that everyone attending enjoyed some enlightenment, tranquility and an increased sense of spirituality in their lives.

I came home and showed it to my husband of three years. He wasn't dismissive, but he wasn't interested either. He had plans for that weekend to play tennis with a coworker. And, as always, he would attend mass at the local Catholic Church we both attended since getting married there, St. Cecelia's.

He asked me if I minded very much if he didn't go and I just went alone. Of course I didn't mind. It wasn't the kind of activity that you forced on someone, even a husband. If your heart wasn't into doing it fully, it would just be a miserable, boring experience. What I appreciated, is that he poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down to really listen, as he asked me, "What do you hope to gain? What are you looking for?"

I told him about the new kind of spirituality books I had been reading. They weren't Catholic or any organized religion for that matter. I guess you'd have to call them new age, much as I dislike the term as sounding too trendy.

I explained to John that the books were written about becoming your authentic self, learning to really love others and being always compassionate, using innate abilities to tune into truths, becoming multi-sensory and all the discoveries that brought with it, meditating with a real purpose and finding a larger self within and so much more. I explained how I had established new morning rituals of reading inspirational books for an hour, then journaling spiritual and inspirational thoughts and feelings with as much honesty as I could muster, praying on my knees and then 30 minutes of meditating in a straight-backed chair. I said I was having some very good days as a result.

John had let me have my personal rituals without questioning, but now he showed his interest. He asked sensitive questions and gave knowledgeable responses.

He had his own little ritual of reading a thought for the day each day from "Daily Word" a subscription journal of monthly readings and affirmations that also wasn't Catholic. Sometimes he would repeat the day's affirmation to me if I had had a bad day or was tense.

Anyhow I went to the retreat by myself and didn't wish too much that John was going with me. Frankly, I was glad he wasn't. I could become somebody new. I was not limited by my old self, or my old beliefs. Anything was possible.

We opened the retreat with readings from some of my favorite authors in my new spiritual readings. I felt like I had run into old friends as I listened to the soothing and inspiring words. One reading I particularly liked was about intimacy. It was from "The Heart of the Soul Emotional Awareness" by Gary Zukav and Linda Francis. I had read several of Gary's books about authentic power as opposed to external power which corrupted.

The quotes were, "Intimacy and the pursuit of external power--the ability to manipulate and control--are incompatible. When you naturally create harmony, cooperation, sharing and reverence for life, you cannot suffer from lack of intimacy."

It was then that I suddenly realized that no matter what I learned, experienced and carried with me from this spiritual retreat, I would be sharing it with my husband just by the fact that what we shared would not allow us to suffer from lack of intimacy. These new spiritual principles were important to me and it was important that he respect them as well. He didn't have to give up his own spiritual beliefs or suddenly adopt to mine, he just had to share my growing excitement about them and have a healthy respect for what I was coming to believe. I certainly would continue to have a good respect for his spiritual practices and beliefs. We would possibly continue to attend mass together. If not, we would respect one another's beliefs and share our intimacy on every level as always. Perhaps we just wouldn't be going to church together or I would find a new place to celebrate my spiritual beliefs. As long as we loved one another, all would be well.