FAITH RELIEVES DEPRESSION

I was reading some of the articles written here on this topic, and, unfortunately, there is still a stigma attached to depression. It is the result of bad brain chemicals nothing else. That's why anti-depressants work. They change your brain chemicals. It is not that I have too much time on my hands or an ungrateful nature, or any of the other myriad of things that make depression my own fault.

Faith has gone a long ways in helping me overcome depression. Of course, I also take medication and have seen a psychiatrist on a monthly basis for treatment for the last nine years. Before I got help I prayed plenty for God to take it away but nothing happened. Finally God helped me wake up and admit I needed medical help. Since then my faith has helped me to develop more spiritual growth which, I believe, keeps me from falling back into a depressed state even with medication.

I lost years of my life to this crippler. I thought I had severe PMS all month long for all of my reproductive years. I went from doctor to doctor and some of them told me they thought it wasn't PMS but clinical depression. I was highly insulted and thought they were quacks. I was easily irritated and acted out in anger a lot. I felt like the biggest shrew in the world. I couldn't find joy anywhere in my life and I felt cheated big time. I woke up in the morning and wished I hadn't. I had no interest in things that once interested me like reading, cooking, bicycling and scrapbooking. I felt like a huge void filled only with pain.

My family and friends tried to be patient and understand, but they ran out of patience. They couldn't seem to forgive me for being such a downer and never sharing any happy moments with them or "looking at the sunny side" of things. I thought about suicide most every day. The fact that I had two children kept me from carrying out any suicidal plans, but I still fantasized about it daily.

I didn't renew my faith through a church. I can't find one that I am comfortable in. I found increased faith by reading, praying and meditating. When I get up in the morning I reach for a spiritually uplifting, inspirational book to read with my morning coffee. That kind of reading pumps me up to feel accepting of whatever is going to come up on that day and to be able to cope with it well.

Today I awake with joy in my heart--real joy. I am excited about the new day and look forward to starting my day. I live a mostly solitary life but have taught myself how to enjoy solitariness without feeling lonely. In fact, I have started writing a book on how to conquer loneliness from within. All those articles that just tell a person to essentially snap out of it and go join a group, take a class, date on the Internet, volunteer and get a pet just don't cut it when you are suffering in the throes of being absolutely paralyzed by the pain of your loneliness.

My faith led me to the right doctors and the right medication after a lot of trials and errors. My number one goal in life today is not to stop being depressed, because I don't feel depressed, but to grow spiritually. "Weeping endureth but the night. Joy cometh in the morning."